Congrats Kevin Slowey
Tuesday, May 8th, Kevin Slowey pitched 4 perfect innings, so if he wants my ’98 Dodge Neon, he can have it. It does need a new fuel pump, but maybe he could install that during the off season.
New Pinch Runner for Jim Thome
Twins vs A’s at Oakland Game 2
Today Jim Thome ran around the bases himself. This is an exciting day for both of us. Thome wasn’t hired to run the bases, only to hit. (Plus, he’s got a bad back and a bad tendon in his foot!) I’ve only seen him run the bases for a home run, and even then I am surprised, and I think he is too. Not to say Thome isn’t an athletic, nice man (He’ll be in the HOF.) but the Twins keep him hidden in the shadows of the dug out and then pull him out of the depths when something mystical needs to happen like he’s Jaba the Hut. He bats, and if he gets a hit, a young flexible gnome comes out to spell him from 1st base. I thought it would be more convenient if they just gave him a horse to ride round the bases. Maybe he could bat from the horse or maybe the horse is just waiting for him at 1st base–I don’t know, but I keep envisioning Thome riding one of those “rascal” scooters at the grocery store, or does Casilla get called in to shop for him. I am not complaining. I am musing. Casilla is tops in my book (way more talented than just running), so if his being Thome’s base boy is what keeps him active with the team, so be it.
But alas. Casilla is on the injured list with an elbow situation he got from wrangling Thome up a wild horse that escaped Canterbury Downs, the horse track just south of the Twin Cities. The horse was not wild as in nature wild, but wild as in he was really pissed off that day, because when he came into work, there were a bunch of ostriches and camels in his stall. They were the pinch runners that day. So the horse (Jimmy) left in a wild huff in search of somebody who needed him. Casilla was nearly trampled by the beast while polishing up and refueling Thome’s Rascal (this model runs on bio diesel, not electricity). This is a blog not by a sports aficionado, but a sports observer and short story writer.
Ken Griffey Jr. Retires and more thoughts.
This game is playing out like a chess match. Boring even for the 10 Mariner fans in their home SafeCo Park. It is the “bottom” of the 8th inning: Twins vs. Mariners in Seattle. Important things you need to know in that sentence are: 1) The bottom of the inning is the second (last half) of the inning. 2) The home team bats at the bottom of innings. 3) There are 9 innings in baseball. 4) The Mariners aren’t that good, and we lost to them yesterday. 5) My car broke down in Chicago a few days ago, and I had to donate it to the Purple Hearts Car Donation Charity for war veterans, not for gay card players. I like both groups, however. 6) Orlando Hudson (O-Hud) is injured, and I am sad. (He is a jokester.) 7) I have to look for another car once I bus back to Mpls after doing shows in Ann Arbor and Peoria.
Ken Griffey Jr. retired from the Mariners today, because he knew this game was going to be boring. He might as well start living the slow life in the comfort of his own home where there are more people in attendance.
Joe Mauer bats now. He is in a little slump, and I wonder if I should go to his Chevy Dealership and get an Aveo like my sister. One time my sister tried to steal the car that just broke down for good from me…then my mom made her give it back, and now I wish she would have kept it. I just put 1000 bucks into the car, and it still broke down (from something else).
This is why I watch baseball.
Appendix A:
In the extra innings of this game, the Twins were robbed. They had a clear force out at second base which was called safe, allowing another Mariner to score while the Twins thought they were in the clear. Ah man Twins, that sucks. Gardi put his two cents in, but in baseball, only the home runs can be reviewed. This is not at all what Aristotle had in mind. Bad ump, bad.
