That Stache is Coming in Hard.

Inspiration found in Pavano's Public Stache

Kudos to the Director of Photography and all the June 15, 2010 homefield camera operators for adding punchlines to Bert Blyleven and Dick Bremer’s musings on Pavano’s ‘stache and others’ potential staches on the computer generated stache cam.  (Slowey did not look good with the mustache.)  The camera folks took an artistically long amount of time showing a variety of mustaches on fans in the stadium, and I think it was some of the funniest and best camera work this year.  The timing with the commentary was right on.  I am going to watch that game again on my mlb.tv (not a good product) just for the camera work.  Sure there may have been some stuff going on at field level, but who cares.  This was part of baseball and what you would notice if you were actually at the game.  This was life and a photo essay all rolled into one, and choreographed with Blyleven’s round about vocal stylings.  I am inspired and will soon self publish my poem Carl Pavano’s Mustache.  It will probably become a mini series on the Hallmark Channel.

Guest commentator, Joe Nathan, did a nice job at trying to keep Bert on track that night, spelling Bremer a bit to have his own fun.  That’s my favorite part of the game:  seeing how much Blyleven can digress.  I love him.  A couple games ago (or “episodes” ago maybe, since there’s been a nice through line and story arc with the whole facial hair thing), Bert made the awesome comment, ‘That stache is coming in hard,” regarding Pavano, and that has set the tone for the rest of the season.  That stache is coming in hard.  Bert could work for air traffic control, but then nobody would be able to land, unless Dick Bremer came in to call the directions.

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When will Scott Baker be…

When will Scott Baker be old enough to vote? I always wonder that when I see him on tv. He looks twelve. Lucky fella. He might be able to finish his baseball career and still look young enough to get hired in a new career afterward.  The bat boys look older than Scott Baker is the point of this. I love musing about that every time he pitches.

Another thing I love in the Twin Cities is the show “Seniors on Screen” available out of the cable access station up in Brooklyn Center. Here’s a sample video. These ladies are out of control. Even when Scott Baker retires, he will still be too young to be on this show.  (Crank the volume up before you push play.)

Kevin Slowey can have my car

Congrats Kevin Slowey

Tuesday, May 8th, Kevin Slowey pitched 4 perfect innings, so if he wants my ’98 Dodge Neon, he can have it. It does need a new fuel pump, but maybe he could install that during the off season.

New Pinch Runner for Jim Thome

Twins vs A’s at Oakland Game 2

Today Jim Thome ran around the bases himself.  This is an exciting day for both of us.  Thome wasn’t hired to run the bases, only to hit.  (Plus, he’s got a bad back and a bad tendon in his foot!)   I’ve only seen him run the bases for a home run, and even then I am surprised, and I think he is too.  Not to say Thome isn’t an athletic, nice man (He’ll be in the HOF.) but the Twins keep him hidden in the shadows of the dug out and then pull him out of the depths when something mystical needs to happen like he’s Jaba the Hut.  He bats, and if he gets a hit, a young flexible gnome comes out to spell him from 1st base.  I thought it would be more convenient if they just gave him a horse to ride round the bases.  Maybe he could bat from the horse or maybe the horse is just waiting for him at 1st base–I don’t know, but I keep envisioning Thome riding one of those “rascal” scooters at the grocery store, or does Casilla get called in to shop for him.  I am not complaining.  I am musing.  Casilla is tops in my book (way more talented than just running), so if his being Thome’s base boy is what keeps him active with the team, so be it.

But alas.  Casilla is on the injured list with an elbow situation he got from wrangling Thome up a wild horse that escaped Canterbury Downs, the horse track just south of the Twin Cities.  The horse was not wild as in nature wild, but wild as in he was really pissed off that day, because when he came into work, there were a bunch of ostriches and camels in his stall.  They were the pinch runners that day.  So the horse (Jimmy) left in a wild huff in search of somebody who needed him.  Casilla was nearly trampled by the beast while polishing up and refueling Thome’s Rascal (this model runs on bio diesel, not electricity).   This is a blog not by a sports aficionado, but a sports observer and short story writer.

Ken Griffey Jr. Retires and more thoughts.

This game is playing out like a chess match.  Boring even for the 10 Mariner fans in their home SafeCo Park.  It is the “bottom” of the 8th inning: Twins vs. Mariners in Seattle.  Important things you need to know in that sentence are: 1) The bottom of the inning is the second (last half) of the inning.  2)  The home team bats at the bottom of innings.  3)  There are 9 innings in baseball. 4) The Mariners aren’t that good, and we lost to them yesterday.  5) My car broke down in Chicago a few days ago, and I had to donate it to the Purple Hearts Car Donation Charity for war veterans, not for gay card players. I like both groups, however.  6)  Orlando Hudson (O-Hud) is injured, and I am sad.  (He is a jokester.)  7)  I have to look for another car once I bus back to Mpls after doing shows in Ann Arbor and Peoria.

Ken Griffey Jr. retired from the Mariners today, because he knew this game was going to be boring.  He might as well start living the slow life in the comfort of his own home where there are more people in attendance.

Joe Mauer bats now.  He is in a little slump, and I wonder if I should go to his Chevy Dealership and get an Aveo like my sister.  One time my sister tried to steal the car that just broke down for good from me…then my mom made her give it back, and now I wish she would have kept it.  I just put 1000 bucks into the car, and it still broke down (from something else).

This is why I watch baseball.

Appendix A:

In the extra innings of this game, the Twins were robbed.  They had a clear force out at second base which was called safe, allowing another Mariner to score while the Twins thought they were in the clear.  Ah man Twins, that sucks.  Gardi put his two cents  in, but in baseball, only the home runs can be reviewed.  This is not at all what Aristotle had in mind.  Bad ump, bad.