Mandatory Blog Entry #1

Mandatory Blog Entry #1

Someone else has joined my blog says the computer. Thank you. Because of this, I am forcing myself to type a blog entry even though nothing is going on: THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
Despite that statement, I feel there is some important info I might impart to you before the holidays. The following will be a big time saver if you are the type of person who thinks he can do things, but really can’t.
Tonight, I tried to recreate a beverage usually purchased from the liquor store. The beverage is called choco-wine and it comes like wine–in a wine bottle. I discovered it while entertaining at an “agro-ladies” gathering. Choco-wine, in all its mysterious novelty, was the booze provided at each table. It’s apparently all the rage with ladies’ nights—at least in rural Stearns County–and it was definitely good. So tonight, instead of doing my taxes (the reason I have this week off) I tried to recreate the goodness of choco-wine with the following ingredients and method:
Mary Mack’s Home-made Version of Choco-Wine
2 Tbls baking coco
2 Tbls sugar
lil water
BOIL THIS IN A SAUCE PAN. Then add…
1 c Almond milk
1/4c whole milk
1/4c half and half
BRING TO NEAR BOIL. Pour in mug til ¾ full.
TOP WITH SOME RED WINE FROM AN OPEN BOTTLE OF RED WINE YOU FORGOT TO FINISH LAST WEEKEND. Enjoy.
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Well don’t bother writing any of that down, because it was not anything like the bottled choco-wine. I took one sip from my mug, and then I took another sip, so that I was sure I needed to throw up. The fact that the original choco-wine came in a wine bottle rather than a milk jug should have told me I was approaching it from the wrong end—meaning they didn’t start with hot chocolate milk and then add wine. They STARTED with the wine and happened to add a shade of chocolate. Also, there probably was no milk involved ever. Damn it, because I wasted three different kinds of milk by ruining it with wine.

End Mandatory Blog Entry #1.